Etüden und Serenaden

After my 1.5hrs sleep-experience last night, I’m still sitting on a take home exam for a course called Medieval England. I know what to answer but I don’t know how to write it. Seriously. In order to keep me awake – I tend to produce the best texts at a stage where my conciousness is somewhat gone and automated – I had too many pieces of that huge chocolate bar that my mother gave me this afternoon. I feel sick. And looking at the clock or at the bottle of Coca Cola – well, you never know when you might need some extra sugar… – doesn’t really help either. In fact, it makes it even worse. I want to go to bed.
I’m counting down the hours… can’t wait for my big sis to come back home. I see us sitting there, drinking tea, talking about everything and nothing. 1.5 years is a long time.

Jonas, a friend of mine, suggested that I should look for a job where I can earn money writing reviews (about artists, CDs, songs) but I’m not too sure about that. It sounds daring but for now I feel like supporting my favourite artists without profiting out of that – isn’t their music and its impact on me enough for now? I mean, I need music in order to be able to be creative. I know that you can’t live of music alone but apart from what I mentioned just now, I think that there’s still a long way to go until I am ready for that kind of job. I just need some more time.

I still feel sick. And I can see myself on the bathroom floor again, laying on the cold blue tiles (this happens whenever I feel bad and am close too passing out, which happens pretty often due to my great and horrible circulatory). I’d rather party all night through getting drunk than coping with this. I didn’t even have the time to do the take home earlier.

Currently listening to: The Gentle Act Incident – 4am

Edit: By the way, I started to work on my short story cycle again. As I said, I need some form of a creative output, otherwise I’ll run riot. Emotionally.